


Counting to Fifteen

by ClaudiaFekete



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Gen, I don't either, M/M, Other, Past Character Death, Salmon - Freeform, Sea, coastal wolf au, you don't know what that is?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 08:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19331017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaudiaFekete/pseuds/ClaudiaFekete
Summary: “You are like the sun.” Is Nico’s first sentence. His deep, brown eyes shine brighter than the stars above. They are more beautiful than the stars above. “I didn’t make the wrong judgement.”Will has no idea how to make of this. “We’ve been waiting for you to come home.” He says the thing he knows. “Your sister is here, Hazel. Reyna can’t come because of her duty but she’s worried, too. Please, Nico, come back.”“Don’t ask something that’s impossible, Will.”Nico knows my name?Nico has crept so close before he knows it. “I’ve been dead since Bianca left. What my sister has been seeing, what you are now seeing, is simply the reflection of your own breath. I didn’t realize it until Jason was dead. I am not meant to be here. I’m a shell of the me you used to know.”[2019 solangelo week, Sun/Moon]Werewolf AU but as coastal wolves.





	Counting to Fifteen

**Author's Note:**

> I know the title sucks. It sucks because it's kind of unrelated to the whole work. 'Heaven' by Troye Sivan is a great song. Since everyone should have known that already, I recommend 'Infinite volte' by Lorenzo Fragola.
> 
>  
> 
> **Trigger Warning** : suicidal thoughts. past character deaths. something that almost seems like depression.  
> ... and a lack of knowledge of Canada. if you count that.

  They never howl to the moon. They never gather for a hunt. If they ever taste deer it’s when sitting with their human friends, watching droplets of words flowing into a bizarre tell of werewolves.

  Instead, the wolves learn how to get used to their furs drenched. They learn to bite off salmon’s head. They learn to swim for miles, from one island to another.

  Will remembers his first time traveling to the grand island. It’s a kind of ritual, he and the other pups should navigate their ways in the water until they reach the shore. After that, they would receive recognitions from all packs and be considered mature enough to hunt. It’s a passage, from innocence to capable. Their parents had left earlier, anticipating for their children on different rocks. His paws dug into sand like searching for a flaw.

  By then, he had gotten used to waves splattering around. He had gotten used to how the water affected his moves. What he hadn’t gotten used to is the feeling of being alone. During practice, elder sisters and brothers joined their young siblings. Now, they were only four of them, all anxious.

  It hadn’t been smooth. Tide was so strong that later a search for a lost child had to be organized. Will didn’t know that then when struggling to keep his head above water. It’s too cold for his liking. He prefers land. He prefers the solace of sun.

  As the island finally came to sight, he relaxed a little. Mom would be there with Michael, ready for snuggling. His nerves unwind, allowing him for things unknown before: a nice patch of silver shimmering like stars. Another young wolf, blessed by moonlight in the dark.

* * *

 

  Will Solace is now 21, pre-med, studying to be a doctor. He can’t wait to go home and run in the forest again. He yearns to stretch his limbs—the set with long furs—expecting to let loose a little. When his tired foot crosses the threshold, first word from his mom is “There is a wanderer recently.”

  “Real wolf kind, or wolves like us?”

  “Don’t know. He hasn’t done anything yet. Just annoying those who stick firm to their territories.”

  Will helps himself with a glass of water. “It isn’t from the woods, right?” They had a truce with those forest habitants more than five years ago.

  “Hard to tell. It can hunt in the sea pretty well. Might be a long lost kid of ours.” The way his mother says it like a bedtime story, Will knows that she doesn’t perceive it to be their lost member really. He has an urge to shot, to shake the memory out of her like shaking a tree for its fruits.

  But she has lost a kid herself. Will’s elder brother, Michael, hasn’t been in his life for 6 years. Everyone can only bear so much misery in their lives without breaking.

  He sighs. “Maybe.”

* * *

 

  Truth to be told, Will can’t remember when he started taking notice of the young wolf. Crush isn’t a precise word. He had seen him, had stayed close, and eventually figured out his feeling as more romantic than platonic.

  No one ever saw Nico as a human boy. People didn’t even know he and his sister’s family name. They two came together, and always left the swimming practice together. If the siblings hadn’t caught chatting during breaks with phrases like “math exam”, “pasta”, “mythomagic cards”, they might be mistaken as normal wolves who spend all their lives as beasts. No one knew which school they went to or where their house was. Those two were discrete of their human lives.

  So, there they were, the younger brother Nico and the elder sister Bianca. Nico was easily excited whereas his sister constantly pulling back. His black fur was beautiful like the night sky, endearing Will more with voice like splitting lights. He had his paw clutched by a crab first time trying and spent more time than average to overcame his fear of these “nasty little monsters”. He laughed a lot, laughed too much. Will thought that the sky might be split to reveal the sun behind simply by the force of those laughter. Gods, how much he loved Nico laughing.

  He should have cherished it more. Will was there when the group of wolves fleeing back to them. There had been scratches and deep cuts, but overall with no fatal wound. By the time Nico had come back to the shore, a salmon flapping its fin in the air, the beach could be counted as peaceful once more. He bounced swiftly. “Where’s my sister?” Nico asked, dropping the fish in front of Percy, an elder boy who’s roughly the same age as Bianca. “Do you have fun hunting? Have you met the big black bear everyone is talking about? If you had met it Bi will not let me join you so soon. Did you see it? Where’s she?”

  Percy lowered his head, avoiding Nico’s eyes. “We don’t know.”

  Will was there when Nico gave a light bark, asking whether it was some game of hide and seek. He was there when the salmon stopped struggling on the ground and Nico’s expression changed from disbelief to fear. He was there, that evening till sunset when the adults were informed and went out for a search. Will saw the young wolf’s shinning eyes dimmed, his pacing quickened, building up till he looked like a void of pure nightmare and then halted, suddenly.

  Bianca was never found.

  Nico was never seen after that day.

* * *

 

  Roughly ten days into July, a meeting is called. Will and alphas of other packs gather one the shore, waiting. Rumor has it that messengers have been sent from the forest. Some say it might be relating to the passing of one of their warriors. Others say that it’s more to do with the wanderer. Percy and the guest came into the clearing in the middle of gossips. The crowd falls silent.

  Percy transforms. A familiar dark hair, green eyes young man appears in front of the wolves. The outline of the smaller wolf blurred. It rises, as a young lady with skin dark as coal.

  “Our guest, Miss Hazel Levesque, has come for her brother, whom she believes is now wandering along the sea line.” Percy announces. “She would like us giving her a hand—or say, a paw. Anyway. I’ll let her explain.”

  “I know Nico has never truly belonged to the forest.” Will sucks a breath. He sees Percy, unusually stiff. Hasn’t anyone else noticed? “I’ve talked with your leader here before. Percy mentioned that some of you have seen a grey wolf stumbling here and there, always alone. I think that’s him. No one in the forest has seen Nico after Jason, his best friend’s funeral.” The pair of gold bore deep into Will. “He thinks himself as an outliner, without a place to call home. I know he suffers from staying in a group even if he knows we all care about him. Sometimes he believes that even if he vanishes, it would affect less than a leaf falling from a tree. But he’s wrong. We care.” Or at least, she cares. Will thinks there should be more wolves coming if what she says is true.

  Hazel starts asking to meet with those who have seen the grey wolf and inquire a searching group to be formed. _Grey_. The word suddenly strikes Will. Fur black as night shimmers in his vision. Is it really the Nico he knows?

* * *

 

  Will has gathered enough information from Hazel to believes that this Nico di Angelo is the Nico from his childhood before they meet again. Di Angelo used to have a elder sister, plays mythomagic well, and gives this weird, cute sound when laughing as a wolf. Will has also learnt things he didn’t know of grown-up Nico. His father used to travel between the shore and the forest. That’s why Hazel and Nico are half siblings. Those laughter Will loves so much has almost disappear. He is brave, fair and solemn. And he is so, so alone.

  “I thought the worst time was he contemplating whether he should come out to me. He’s so afraid that I’ll look him differently if I knew he was gay. It’s Jason who got him. I did spend some time to understand the whole thing, but, how could he thought that I wouldn’t want him to live a happy life?” Hazel wiped her eyes when telling this. “I thought that things couldn’t be worse than that. I was so wrong.” Will would have reminded her that she shouldn’t come out for her brother if he wasn’t so distressed himself.

  Nico, with excellent hiding skill, has not been spot after the meeting that night. Whether he has smelled his sister or noticed the mass searching, the only clues left telling them this loner is still wandering around are footprints and droppings. After days roll into August, Will notices something disturbing among the scarce traces they can find: Nico seems to be cutting his food quantity. He doesn’t dare to voice the possibility that Nico is deliberately starving himself to death.

  Therefore, a genuine shock it is, to find the wolf in his backyard.

  “Why are you here?” Are the first words Will speaks. Then he remembers that Nico in wolf form won’t be able to understand him. He transforms without thinking.

  “You are like the sun.” Is Nico’s first sentence. His deep, brown eyes shine brighter than the stars above. They are more beautiful than the stars above. “I didn’t make the wrong judgement.”

  Will has no idea how to make of this. “We’ve been waiting for you to come home.” He says the thing he knows. “Your sister is here, Hazel. Reyna can’t come because of her duty but she’s worried, too. Please, Nico, come back.”

  “Don’t ask something that’s impossible, Will.” _Nico knows my name?_ Nico has crept so close before he knows it. “I’ve been dead since Bianca left. What my sister has been seeing, what you are now seeing, is simply the reflection of your own breath. I didn’t realize it until Jason was dead. I am not meant to be here. I’m a shell of the me you used to know.”

  “Don’t say it like you’re a parasite vine. Or a reflection. You’re not a mirror. Wait, why is it important? Even if you’re right, you do not suck out life like a dementor. Why don’t you come back?”

  He thinks Nico’s eyes twitch with the Harry Potter reference. Will can feel Nico’s breathing. He is so close. “Have you seen a moon and believed it more glamourous than the sun? I cannot be so selfish as to rub you of your light and mislead others. Have you seen Hazel shine? Have you seen yourself shine? I’m the white orb which will never survive under daylight.”

  By this point, Will has decided Nico’s rambling as some kind of complication. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says gently. “It will be alright. I’m going to inform others. Stay.”

  Will hasn’t reached the back door when a sharp pain reaches his hind leg. He turns and sees Nico’s expression contorted in a mixture of self-hatred and distaste. “Wait!” It comes out as a long howl as Nico jumps across the fence gracefully.

  Someone else follows Nico’s scent while others tend Will’s wound. Hazel joins the search herself. The scent leads them straight up to the open sea, where hundreds of islands lie.

* * *

  There are people who wished a chapter of their lives was never written. Will feels thoroughly related, sometimes.

  He wishes he wasn’t stupid enough to not alert the others first when Nico came alone for him that night.

  He wishes he had been two steps forward, so he could grab Michael. Then the car, no matter how fast it was, would not kill his brother.

  He wishes he had stayed that evening when Bianca went missing. He wishes he had blocked Nico’s way when the boy ran, tears spilling, not looking back.

  Now Will’s changing his bandage and people are talking outside.  _It’s too late_ , they sigh dully.  _He does not want to be found. We will not be able to touch him until he’s dead._ Will can feel anger building up in his chest. Why can’t he transform and bite, hard, on them?

_Because you know they’re telling the truth._ A small voice whispers inside him.  _Because you’ve heard him told you himself. He’s dead._

  His response to this is rifling for another clean bandage.  _Shot up. You’re all wrong._  He wraps the extra one around his leg almost fiercely.  _I’ll find him, alive._

* * *

   Will Solace hasn’t been more determined to fuck up his life before.

  Three days, eight hours of sleep. It isn’t a pleasant experience. His mom has yelled at him, ordering him to stop. “I can’t.” Will repeats it to his mother, to Percy, a worried Hazel. “I can’t. I must find him. I know I can.”

  He doesn’t know how to explain it to his family and his friends, but he knows if anyone can find Nico and persuade him to accept help, it would be him. He realizes the fact like memorizing a melody before hearing the song. It should impossible. Well, recognizing the smell of your crush after nine years should also be impossible. Here he is, nevertheless.

  It is his forth day of search. He has climbed six more islands, called the name more than 40 times. When he didn’t find the wolf he felt oddly tranquil.  _Good. I have narrowed the range._ He might be over-exhausted to have a functional brain. His heart, however, beats steadily as his pace.

  Will hops onto an island lush with forest. It’s the unofficial territory of their pack. He wants to take a nap. Briskly he walks on the usual path, high on whatever chemical that’s plaguing inside. As he sniffs, the familiar smell of sea salt and wild herb greets him. Everything is the same as before.

  Except the inexplicit, human scent.

  Will’s feet carry him flying before he realizes what he’s just detected. It may be a wanderer. Later when he comes to his sense he will realize how irrational the assumption is. There are few fishermen, even less tourist. At that moment despite the possibility of running into a stranger, his heart tells him otherwise. He stops when he senses the faint heartbeat a few feet ahead.

  Will has always believed that Nico in human form would be beautiful. He didn’t know this mesmerizing.

  It’s clear to tell that life is slipping out of Nico with just one look. His face is ghostly white, chest barely rising with his breathing. The oversized aviator jacket wraps around him like a cerecloth. Will doesn’t know he wants to start crying for Nico is so close to fading away or for Will is so close to him. “Nico?”

  Nico doesn’t seem to recognize him at first. He blinks a few times, then reaching out his hand. Will licks the fingers. They are cold like breeze in the wood.

  “Are you here to take your revenge?” He feels Nico stretches his hand further. “Good that I can still feel the pain, then.” The corner of Nico’s lips lifts a little.

  That’s when it dawned on Will. Nico is the moon, not because he thinks himself as one, but because he  _is_. Who strives for light but never realize he is the source. Who walks in the dark but is different from all the other stars. Who braces all but intolerate himself. Who Will has never, ever stopped falling for. Will does the only thing that makes sense then. He transforms.

  Nico’s lips taste like ash and festering flesh. The sweetness blooms in Will’s mouth, better than any strawberry or honey he has ever tasted. Then it becomes even better when Nico kisses him back gently, hungrily, desperately. Will cries and almost can’t keep their lips together. He is broken when they break apart.

  “Stay here.” Will wipes his eyes furiously. “I’m calling the others.”

* * *

 

  Nico has the strangest dream when passing out.

  He dreams of a million horses racing on water. Then the horses turn into ravens and stop the night. He turns into a raven himself. His wings are milky white. A million ravens turn into the black ocean and drawn him. There’s no chance of breathing.

  Then he’s being lifted up, up by a pair of claws. Wings of every color flap above him. He sees violet, emerald green, rosy red, butter yellow, azure, and so many others displaying in front of him. It’s a bright, proud phoenix.

  When they land, Nico finally meet the noble creature’s eyes. They are filled with warmth and affection. He swears they’re smiling. The phoenix steps nearer and gives a peck on his cheek.

  “I love your tiny freckles. They are like the constellations.”

  Peck. “I love your eyes. They’re like puzzles and I’m glad I will never be able to solve them.”

  Peck. “I love your feathers. They are gentle and soothing and so good at flying.”

  Peck. “I love your scars. They are the witness of your pain, but also your bravery.”

  Peck. _I love you._  Peck. _I love you. I love you._  Nico feels himself showered in a rain of sunlight. It’s almost a regret to wake up, if he didn’t spot Will snoring in a chair next to his bed.

  He giggles.

  Slowly, Will opens an eye. “Hi, handsome.” He yawns.

  Nico blushes so hard that he thinks his head can combust any second. “Same for you.” is all he manages to squeeze. Will gives a lopsided smile and takes his hand gently.

  “You know about the tides?”

  “Huh?”

  “Spring tides and neap tides and all the between.” Will’s smile has reached his eyes. “How the major part of the earth rises and falls. How rocks are moved and currents are created.”

  “And it’s the sun and the moon behind this.” Will carefully brushes a lock before Nico’s eyes. “You said you rubbed us of our light, but you never realize you make a difference by simply  _existing._  You are the reason the globe breathes. You are the reason why my heart beats like crazy.” He laughs. “So please give it a shot to believe everything I just told you yourself. Try to keep stumbling on this road upon. Give me a chance to learn to love you. Will you?”

  Nico can feel tears in his eyes. He knows the darkness is lurking inside, waiting to strike. He knows people are going to ask so many questions—gods, what is Hazel going to say. He can feel the old desire to tear apart his own skin, to be anything but himself.

  He also wants to learn to love himself, to be comfortable with what he is. He wants to learn to live. He wants to learn to love this man who has dropped a kiss on his knuckles.

  Nico swallows. “Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> Coastal Wolves: wolf found in the Great Bear Rainforest along the Pacific Coast of Canada.
> 
> I first knew about them when reading National Geography. They have fascinated me ever since. I don't know how to describe it, but I can imagine a wolf swimming instead of running in the grass and that brings up all the sweet, peaceful desires. I knew then I would write about them. I just don't know when and how.
> 
> Then the prompt came up. I really have no idea how to explain this but originally, wolves are the sun, ocean is the moon. Okay, Twilight _might_ has ruined my imagination with the "werewolves have higher temperature" cannon. Everything else - the tide, white crow/rainbow phoenix, black/grey color - isn't. That's how we end up having this here.
> 
> Thanks for your reading and hope you nice enough to leave a comment!


End file.
